I started learning to drive a few days after my seventeenth birthday, because that’s the thing you do at that milestone age. It was certainly a lot more exciting than my twelfth birthday, when I could legally buy a twelve DVD (that I was still ID’d for). After about half an hour of learning the ropes on quiet roads, I was thrown into the deep end as I headed for the main roads. Now I want to tell you it all went swimmingly, but after I almost crashed into a hedge (it wasn’t funny at the time), I knew this would take some practice.
I was making progress with my lessons over the months, and then one day, for no apparent reason, the thought of getting into a car sent me into a whirlwind of anxiety.
The night before my lessons consisted of tears and lack of sleep, the mornings of; panic attacks and nausea. As soon as I got into the car and drove, all that anxiety went away and seemed irrational, but that didn’t stop it from returning each week. I decided a break would be best.
I reluctantly booked my driving test after a month off, hoping that I could pull myself together. The day of my test, I failed with three majors, and any confidence I held regarding my ability to drive, was gone. I felt like giving up would not only disappoint my family, but myself, so I had no option but to book my test again, and surprise surprise, I failed. I convinced myself that my failing was down to nerves, not me being “incapable”.
In an attempt to prolong booking my next test, I took more breaks, and ended up changing instructors at least three times. In September, I moved to University, and it was the fresh start I needed. It helped my confidence massively. Moving out had been something I’d never thought possible, since a young age, being brought up by a single mum, I’d hated the thought of being away from her. Seeing I could pack up and leave my comfort zone, I realised I could do anything if I wanted it bad enough.
I returned home this summer, got myself a job, learner’s insurance on my own car, and a new driving instructor. I think I’ve probably had over one hundred lessons in the two years I was learning to drive, oops. Anyway, not that the title of this post wasn’t a big enough give away, but, on 7th September 2015, I PASSED MY DRVING TEST! Yes I cried like a baby beforehand, and yes, I was still convinced I’d fail again, but I was one hundred percent in a much better headspace than the past two attempts.
So, my advice; don’t rush. Don’t pressure yourself to take lessons if you don’t want to, you’ll only end up resenting driving. Take your time, you have plenty of it. If there’s ever a time in life you feel like giving up, be it with driving, even school/college, or anything that warrants you to feel like giving up at some point, find a reason to keep trying. All you can ever do is push against your fears, or any negative thoughts that are stopping you from achieving something. I know it’s easier said than done but, trust me, you have the power to keep going. Stop, breathe and carry on. (Oh and avoid me in carparks, I’m still a bit rusty with bay parking).
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